A Spiritual Pilgrimage
to America
June 27, 2023
Sometimes
it takes going far away from home to ‘come home’ closer to oneself. Surprise opportunities and unanticipated experiences
can move and enrich us beyond our imagination! One just knows that one is in
the hands of a benevolent force and that one is exactly where one is meant to
be. One can truly trust and surrender to
the intelligence of life and breathe each breath, each moment as a precious
gift from the universe. One is left with a feeling of immense gratitude and awe for the flow of generosity and serendipity.
I am beginning
to write this on my flight back to India, having just concluded an incredible 5
week visit to the United States, which felt more like a ‘spiritual pilgrimage’
to America—something I had not quite anticipated.
Earlier in
April, while facilitating a field-trip in the Himalayan forest mountains of the
North-East India, I received an invitation to be part of the ‘Spiritual Changemakers’ gathering in Orange, California. It was organized by Ashoka Changemakers and MIT’s Presencing Institute. I was recognized with the
‘Soularize Award’ for my engagements in the field of Education, Mindfulness and
Mental Health. This invitation-only event promised to bring together inspiring group of human beings
from diverse faith traditions and spiritual backgrounds—people operating at the
intersection of social change and spirituality. I was invited to participate in
the youth development track. While there
was some excitement, the critic in me held some doubts about any value America
would have to offer in the realm of Spiritual Changemaking. I felt unsure about
making such a long trip to the US just for a 3-day gathering!
The main
impetus, however, came from Roshi Joan Halifax–the prominent American Zen
Buddhist teacher and the founder of Upaya Zen Center in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I
had the good fortune of meeting Roshi last year as one of our mentors at the
Compassionate Leadership Dialogue with HH the Dalai Lama in Dharamsala,
India. The connection with her had felt
quite instant and affectionate. The moment I received a warm, welcoming
invitation from Roshi to be a guest resident at Upaya, something in me
instantly knew that I was really meant to go on this journey! Thanks also to
great support and encouragement from my father, one thing led to another and I
was soon on my way to Los Angeles, CA.
Soon after
landing in LA, a very kind Servas host named Paige took me to see the Simon
Norton Art Museum in Pasadena, CA.
Seeing the beautiful Buddhist, Hindu and Jain sculptures with detailed
descriptions of their teachings and philosophy, I was very captivated. The next
morning, we went to pay homage at Swami Paramhans Yogananda’s crypt. As I bowed
down, knees bent, a shower of blessings swept over my body, it was a very
moving experience. Later that day, we also visited the Self-RealizationFellowship founded by Sri Yogananda on Mt. Washington, which was a very calm, serene
space for meditation.
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At the Self-Realization Fellowship Headquarters, Los Angeles, CA |
The
Soularize gathering in California was a powerful energizer, which set the tone
for my spiritual pilgrimage in America. Being
with faith-leaders and spiritual changemakers from diverse traditions around
the world, bound together with a sense of shared aspiration–that of creating a
more just, purposeful, joyful and a sustainable world for all, I had a ‘felt
sense’ of ‘One-Earth--One-Family’ or ‘Vasudhaiva
Kutumbakam’ as in Sanskrit. Apart from getting an experiential
understanding of ‘Theory U’ developed by the Presencing Institute, the
highlight for me really happened to be a spontaneous co-creative group
meditation circle that emerged on the last evening of Soularize. We really bonded over singing, dancing,
sharing silence, prayers, closing out with a big tree-hug and deep reverence
for Mother Nature. I offered a few
Sanskrit chants to the circle and really enjoyed singing the Metta song with
all. Soularize also presented me with a
very special opportunity to reconnect with a dear mentor friend and a really
inspiring hero of compassion--Nipun Mehta, the founder of Service Space.
 
|
A meditation circle and a tree-hug at the Soularize gathering |
For the next
3 weeks, I was to be at Upaya Zen Center, which really felt like a gift from
the universe. Landing for the first time in the highland desert mountains of
New Mexico, with its expansive blue skies and arid green landscapes, I knew I
had really entered the ‘Land of Enchantment’. It was my first exposure to the Zen Path and I
went in with an open mind and heart to immerse myself fully and to soak all the
wisdom that this experience had to offer. I was really fortunate to be able to
join the Varela Symposium themed on ‘Precariousness, Uncertainty and
Cooperation’, a ‘Planting Life’ gathering and the ‘Zen Youth Retreat’ during my brief stay at Upaya. Below, I would like to highlight some of the key insights and
observations from my time at Upaya.
 |
With dear mentors: Roshi Joan Halifax and Richie Davidson at the Varela Symposium |
Sangha: The Community Of Practice and Community As Practice
In a world
marred by increasing loneliness and distress, divisive polarization,
uncertainty and crisis at multiple levels, a space like Upaya truly stands out
as a beacon of hope, a refreshing oasis of all that can be true, good and
beautiful.
I
experienced it as a very sincere, dedicated community of practice aligned on
common purpose and values, living and working together with great integrity and
harmony as ‘One-Body Sangha’. It is the
deepest longing of every human heart to get a sense of ‘I belong’, ‘I am
appreciated’, ‘I am safe and respected’, ‘I can serve and contribute’, ‘I am
seen’ ‘I am heard’, ‘I am understood’ and ‘I am cared for’. A close-knit community of about 15 residents
at Upaya continued to silently ring these messages for me through their gentle,
kind, loving presence, individual and collective actions exemplifying
excellence and joyful togetherness. They
inspired me to ‘awaken’ myself and to bring out the best in me (to tap more
into my ‘Buddha Nature’ I may say). We
were more than sum of our parts—supporting each other, rising together,
constantly tending to a collective field of mutual trust, respect and
understanding. The community culture
enabled and encouraged clear, open, direct, courteous and courageous
communication.
One of the
weekly practices that created a culture of deep, authentic sharing-listening
was a community ‘Council’ drawn from the Native American traditions. Members of the community would gather in a
circle for reflection and sharing. A
safe container was held together for all that needed to be heard, to be
welcomed. Also, weekly ‘Dharma Talks’ by
eminent Zen scholar-practitioners continued to shower the Sangha with great inspiration.
Upaya
showcased a beautiful microcosm of our collective human potential and
possibility. How wonderful it would be if every family unit, every school
community, every organization and the world at large was infused with such loving kindness! I have been in many community spaces, human
networks and spiritual circles around the world. What struck me at Upaya was the depth and
sincerity from which the actions emerged. Not even once did I catch anyone gossip
or share ill-will towards anyone else in the community. The
residents took to abide by the 16 Bodhisattva precepts very sincerely when they
committed to being part of this community.
In my brief
stay at Upaya, I had so many ‘corrective’ experiences –experiences that
reconfigured my ‘default settings’ of how I am received and how I relate with
fellow human beings and the world. Seeking or offering genuine forgiveness, constructive
feedback, a kind appreciation or politely vocalizing something that is not
sitting well in a relational dynamic for example was helping me to be more authentic
to myself and others. I felt much safer to be vulnerable, to make mistakes, to
ask for help and to come in touch with parts of me that would otherwise remain
hidden from my own self! Being in a
community and working through the inherent tensions it brings up is a practice
in itself. One of the Zen teachers shared an apt metaphor that of ‘rock
tumbler’ – where our rough edges are smoothened out by being consciously
together. An opportunity for no escape from the Self!
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At the conclusion of the Zen Youth Retreat at Upaya |
Zazen: The Space of Silence
Three times
a day, morning-afternoon-evening the entire community sits together in silence
for 40 minutes of Zazen practice in the ‘Zendo’—a beautiful meditation
space. The Zen way of meditation, I
found to be very non-prescriptive.
Everything that arises within the mind-body field is welcomed with
curiosity and care, no clinging, no resisting, no ignoring–just patiently
sitting with it, allowing it to come and pass as it may. Holding it all with
wide-open awareness, compassion and non-judgement. It seemed very much in-line with my Vipassana meditation practice and I blended-in well with the daily Zazen sessions.
I would
call the Zendo as the heart of the community and a real powerhouse! I believe
that this collective practice of silence—Zazen, is the core, the secret sauce
that creates the subtle, invisible energy field or Dhamma vibes (if I may
call it so) for all that is true, good and beautiful to manifest itself. Something I also really appreciated about
Zazen was the opportunity to consult one-on-one (Daisan) with a lead teacher about any questions and difficulties
that we may encounter during our practice. It offered me new perspectives on
Zen philosophy, practice and the Zen way of life.
A Zazen
session would often conclude with the following Bodhisattva vows—a powerful
reminder of our highest purpose:
Creations
are numberless, I vow to free them.
Delusions
are inexhaustible, I vow to transform them.
Reality
is boundless, I vow to perceive it.
The
awakened way is unsurpassable, I vow to embody it.
 |
The Zendo at Upaya |
Samu: Work As Practice
The entire
Upaya campus is tended to by various Samu or work teams–the cooking, the
grounds, the housekeeping and the temple.
Around 6 hours of community service-time is an integral part of the
daily routine. I had the opportunity to
clean the restrooms, the temple and some of the residential facilities, attend
to the compost pile, do some weeding, water the plants, sweep the grounds, help
out in the kitchen and do the dishes etc.
The part of me that is used to having house-help for pretty much
everything back home in India had to really ‘stretch’ itself during Samu! It
wondered whether I flew half-way around the world to do these tasks. I had to
catch myself when such judgements, inner-resistance or even boredom arose in
me!
|
Sweeping outside the Zendo. A resident friend mentioned how this is an 'infinite game'! |
Apart from appreciating each Samu task in service to the larger whole, I slowly
began to realize how Samu is a practice in itself. As work teams, we held a brief round of
check-in and set our collective intentions at the beginning of each Samu
session. The team would regroup at the end of each Samu session to ‘bow out’
and to express gratitude for all that was accomplished collectively. For the
most part, the entire practice is done in silence, with mindful attention
poured into every task. Every physical movement, every thought, emotion and sensation can be observed as
we simultaneously engage with our inner and outer world. Samu and community life thus act as a great
training ground for bringing the insights and wisdom arising from the formal
meditation practice out into the world, in our daily living. It was important for me not to fall into the
trap of monotony, old habit patterns of thinking and acting, or doing something
mechanically just to ‘tick it off’ the list but to engage with every moment
afresh, with awareness and joy, during and beyond Samu.
The Samu
Gatha below is a beautiful reminder of our collective intentions for this
work-time together:
“May this work be done in a spirit
of generosity,
Not driven by ego, greed or
delusion.
May kindness sustain us and prevail
in conflict.
And compassion guide us and lead us
to understanding.
May we rejoice in the successes of
others.
And remain unmoved by praise or
blame.”
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The Joy of Composting! |
Structure and DisciplineIt was remarkable to notice the strict discipline and structure within which the community life r-evolved. The de-schooling, non-conformist part of me brought up some inner-resistance to being on such a regime. Showing up for every activity 5 minutes before the scheduled time, I must admit, required some effort on my part! Everything we did as a community was guided by detailed instructions, clear procedures and high level of Japanese precision! How we enter the Zendo, how we sit on the cushion, how and when we bow, how and precisely when the bells are rung…everything was an intricate art. Mediocrity stood no chance here!
As I suspended my inhibitions and surrendered to the flow of things, it all began to feel more natural and at ease—aiding mindfulness, skillfulness, harmonious order and excellence at the individual and community level.
I am reminded of J. Krishnamurti when he talks about discipline that arises out of inward state of awareness and freedom:
“Discipline means to learn, not to conform, not to suppress, not to imitate the pattern of what accepted authority considers noble. This is a very complex question for in it are involved several things: to learn, to be austere, to be free, to be sensitive, and to see the beauty of love….So learning is the highest form of discipline. Learning demands intelligence and sensitivity. Learning all day long, and during sleep, has its own extraordinary discipline which is as gentle as the new spring leaf and as swift as the light. In this there is love. Love has its own discipline, and the beauty of it escapes a mind that is drilled, shaped, controlled, tortured. Without such a discipline the mind cannot go very far.”
The Upaya community exemplified this kind of a voluntary self-discipline, a sense of orderliness which emerges from a compassionate, joyful, loving heart.
Ceremony and
Intentionality
Growing up in a traditional orthodox Jain family in a little village in
India, I was always surrounded by festivals, rituals and ceremonies. As a child, I would go to the temple with my
grandfather and my eldest uncle and ask them many questions about the Jain
philosophy and practices. As a teenager
and young adult, I began to slowly move away from the traditional norms and
ritualistic forms of worship. My rational ‘educated’ mind could not see much
value in them and often I would disregard them as superstitious impositions.
It is only in more recent years that I have begun to rediscover some of
the hidden wisdom in a traditional way of being. The chanting, the drums, the incense, prayers
and the many beautiful offerings at the altar, the bowing, the symbols and the
aesthetics of a space…I ‘experience’ them in a new light now. Being at Upaya supported my growing curiosity
and respect for rituals and ceremonies.
Every moment, every space, was regarded as being sacred and auspicious,
every activity brought alive a sense of ceremony and reverence. For example, compost wasn’t just a pile of
waste and dirt but a sacred temple that we would worship before getting down to the
needed task.
At various points of the day, we would pause in silence as a community,
get in touch with our breath and body as well as with our intentions for being
here. Be it before beginning cooking in the kitchen or watering the plants in
the garden, or before cleaning the toilets, the respective Samu teams would often hold a mini-ceremony with the offering of an incense, a flower and a Gatha
Chant. Eating meals began with an
expression of gratitude and eating in silence for partial or whole time. The
food, mostly organic and vegetarian, was cooked in silence with utmost care and
mindfulness, often in Ayurvedic style. During the youth retreat, I also had the
special opportunity to experience the ‘Oryoki’ meals, which was a very
intricate art of receiving and eating food together as a Sangha.
It felt so meaningful to chant the following Gatha before each meal in
the community:
“Earth,
water, fire, air and space combine to make this food.
Numberless
beings gave their lives and labor that we
may eat.
May we
be nourished that we may nourish life.”
While at Upaya, on a full-moon day, the extended local Sangha gathered
along with wisdom-holders from the Pueblo and Mayan indigenous people of this
land. An auspicious ceremony was held
when we planted a ‘3 sisters’ garden–preserving and promoting indigenous
organic seeds and traditional-ecological wisdom. It brought so much cheer to
everyone.
The 'Planting Life' ceremony began with a quote by Robin Kimmerer in 'Braiding Sweetgrass'. It was a beautiful invitation to embrace the ceremony wholeheartedly:
“Ceremony focuses
attention so that attention becomes intention. If you stand together and
profess a thing before your community, it holds you accountable. Ceremonies transcend the boundaries of the individual and
resonate beyond the human realm. These acts of reverence are powerfully
pragmatic. These are ceremonies that magnify
life.”
The Zen in Everything: Embodied and Applied
Spirituality
As it may
already be evident by now, the way of Zen is not limited to formal sitting
practice in the Zendo (although that maybe foundational). Being Zen, as I understood and experienced
it, pervades every aspect of life—walking, eating, serving, communication...it
is the way of being with oneself and the world.
The real test of Dharma lies is in the playing field of our multi-pronged
relationships is what I began to realize all the more at Upaya.
I found the
practice of ‘Kinhin’ or the walking meditation, taking one mindful breath and
one mindful step at a time, was particularly very helpful in slowing down my
often scattered and restless mind.
Does it mean I have to be slow and serious
all the time? Not at all. When I went to
play a game of basketball with a group of residents from Upaya, I was amazed at
the swiftness and highly competitive and yet a very fun-loving spirit with
which they engaged in the sport! There was high efficiency and effectiveness in
everything we did together as a community, whilst it was also often sprinkled with
art, beauty and lighthearted humor. The way of Zen embodies
‘skillfulness in action’–which interestingly is also one of the definitions of
Yoga (yogh karmasu kausalam).
 |
A silent group hike to the Castle Rock during Zen Youth Retreat |
Socially-Engaged Spirituality
At Upaya,
it is so inspiring to learn how spiritual practice and compassionate action can
go hand-in-hand together to serve the world.
Many service-oriented projects have emerged through Upaya creating
beautiful ripples in the local as well as global community. It was inspiring to learn about the
prison outreach program, the Nomad’s Clinic, the chaplaincy and the street ministry
being run through Upaya.
The way of
Zen, I began to see, is not that of ‘withdrawal’ or ‘isolation’ (although that maybe helpful and necessary someties) but that of compassionate engagement with the world. It calls for embracing the
whole of life and its demands in their totality and to act upon our deepest
convictions with kindness and courage. As I read her book ‘Fruitful Darkness’,
I am inspired by Roshi’s life journey as being a stellar example of socially-engaged Buddhism.
Another beautiful verse we would often chant and that speaks to the spirit of serving a higher purpose:
Vast is the robe of liberation
A formless field of benefaction
I wear the thathagatha’s teaching
To awaken countless beings
The Awakened Way
On my last
day at Upaya—a new moon day, we concluded an intense 5-day silent youth retreat
called the ‘Seshin’. I witnessed a very special ceremony called the ‘Gate
of Sweet Nectar’—an invitation to feed and satisfy the ‘hungry ghosts’ within
and around us. It was a very profound
experience for me—bringing tears and laughter at the same time. I felt as a free-spirited child and danced to
my heart’s delight in the Zendo. When the entire group of around 30 of us began
to chant the vows of three refuges: ‘Buddham
Saranam Gachhami, Sangham Saranam Gachhami, Dhammam Saranam Gachhami’, I
felt transported to a different era altogether. The boundaries of time and
space began to blur for me. Here I was, standing on American soil, soaking in the voices of ancient wisdom that had
traveled over centuries from India to China to Japan to America—and evolved from Dhayna to Chan to Zen.
Upaya
offered me a glimpse into a more beautiful world. I left Upaya with immense gratitude for all
the blessings I received from being part of this incredible community. I now carry with me many precious seeds of
insights, intentions and inspirations from this journey. The following chants
from the Zazen sessions will continue to ring true and act as important reminders
for me:
All my
ancient twisted karma
From beginningless greed, hate and delusion
Born of
body, speech, and mind,
I now
fully atone.
Let me respectfully
remind you: Life and death are of supreme importance
Time
passes swiftly and opportunity is lost
Let us
awaken, awaken, take heed,
Do not squander your
life.
 |
With Sanathvihari Bhante, an American Theravada Buddhist Monk, At the Cerro Gordo Temple, the oldest Stupa in North America located on the Upaya Campus |
My final week in America was spent in the Appalachian mountains of North Carolina. In many ways, it felt like a continuation of the spiritual pilgrimage that this journey had come to be. Two beautiful beings, artist-beekeeper-nature-loving friends named Debra and Joe, very kindly hosted me on their forest-farm.
A profoundly healing meditation amidst 120,000 honeybees, a Native American fire and smoke pipe ceremony to mark the summer solstice, my encounters with the Black Bears and other wildlife in the woods, a visit to the Ayurvedic Institute in Asheville, a Mexican quincenera ceremony, Yoga and the Gayathri Mantra chanting with my American friends—everything felt so very magical and deeply nourishing to my heart and soul.
As I got on my flight back to India, I reflected on how my relationship with America has continued to evolve over the years. I had first come to this country as a
teenager on a youth cultural exchange program and right after landing in
Minneapolis, I remember my host-family had very enthusiastically taken me to see
the ‘Mall of America’ and the feeling of overwhelm I had experienced! (that
would be a story for another time! :)
  Experiencing the Minnesota winter and the'Mall of America' as a Teenager |
|
During my travels in the US this time, I met some very sincere students of eastern mystics such as Swami Yogananda, Sri Ramana Maharshi, Maa Amrita, Neem Karoli Baba, Nisargadatta Maharaj, J.Krishnamurti, Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche etc. It was inspiring to notice their keen interest and devotion towards Yogic and Ayurvedic practices, studies of Sanskrit, Pali or even Hindi language, the Hindu, Jain or Buddhist texts as well as other ancient wisdom traditions of the world.
I felt a sense of kinship with the Native American Pueblo and the Mayan elders whom I had the chance to meet during this trip. Across the States, I connected deeply with the mountains, the trees, the skies, the waters and many of the forest beings. There were moments when I felt as if the ancient soul of this land was speaking to me, the tragic loss it had suffered over several centuries of colonization. Some of her precious wisdom was still vibrant, singing through the birds, the rocks, the rivers...It brought up some grief in me, thinking about my ancient land of India and the terrifying speed at which the 'development' machine is re-enacting some of the patterns of colonization--with tremendous loss to the natural environment and the indigenous, rural communities. When bidding goodbyes to Upaya, I prostated and kissed the ground with gratitude and sincere prayers in my heart. 'What is mine to do (and not to do)?' is the question I shall continue to lean into.This trip to America made me realize that former
dualities and distinctions in my mind, such as–‘light’ and ‘darkness’,
‘the East’ and ‘the West’, ‘the material’ and ‘the spiritual’, ‘the scientific’
and the ‘mystic’, the ‘traditional’ and the ‘modern’, do not hold rigid ground
for me anymore. I sense more readiness for greater integration at personal and perhaps
in our collective consciousness as a human society. I also feel more purposeful to embody the awakened way and to continue to serve as a
‘bridge’ and a ‘cross-pollinator’ as my humble offering in this life.
A deep, deep bow of gratitude for all the visible, invisible
forces, the multiple causes and conditions that made this pilgrimage possible.
May all beings be happy.
May all beings be free from
suffering.
May all beings move through
the world with ease.
May all beings know peace
in their hearts.
 
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In Zen, an ensÅ exemplifies the various dimensions of the Japanese wabi-sabi perspective and aesthetic: fukinsei (asymmetry, irregularity), kanso (simplicity), shizen (without pretense; natural), yugen (subtly profound grace), datsuzoku (freedom), and seijaku (tranquility). It also symbolizes the mu (the void). The form and the formless both dimensions of the same reality. |
Written by:
Vipul Shaha, Pune, India
Educator-Facilitator,
Presence-Oriented Psychotherapist,
Gap-Year Coach, Youth Mentor,
Yoga and Mindfulness Trainer
vipul.shaha@post.harvard.edu
@mindful_being_india
For further interest in Zen philosophy --
1. A book recommendation:
Zen Mind Beginner's Mind by Suzuki Roshi:
https://www.shambhala.com/zen-mind-beginner-s-mind-1796.html
https://terebess.hu/zen/mesterek/Zen-Mind.pdf
2. A Zen Center in South India:
https://www.bodhisangha.net/
